Here’s why advocating pain free births is irresponsible

I really wanted a pain free natural birth.

I spent so much of my time during pregnancy reading positive birth stories, listening to podcasts, and doing the research on how this was possible.

Don’t misinterpret this…I DO believe this is possible. I have read many many stories and done the research. 

But, what I will say is that when my labor started and I began to experience the most intense pain of my life…

I believed something to be wrong. 

There is nothing wrong with having a painful, intense birth. This is also the story of humanity. This is WHY it is often depicted this way in movies, tv shows, all over the world..

It’s not because someone “tainted” the idea of what birth is for us. 

At a point in pregnancy, I tried to go as far as AVOIDING any “negative” story or perception around birth that made it seem hard, long, or painful. If I saw a painful birth scene on a movie, I would skip forward. I would convince myself that “that isn’t natural” so I could go back to “programming” my mind with the fantasy birth that I was trying to create.

This was irresponsible and I wish I hadn’t set my bar so high. Because when it came around to it and I was 24 hours in labor already, in the most intense pain of my life, I started to convince myself that something was wrong. That I wasn’t capable of giving birth this way. That I couldn’t give birth in a natural way. 

If I had been able to see all sides - see that yes, birth can be pain free but the likely story is it will be the most painful and intense (and yes, empowering!) experience of your life… had I gone into labor with THIS mindset, then I wouldn’t have believed something to be “wrong”.

You have permission to have birth in whatever way it happens TO you. Aka - YOU are not in charge. 

If I learned one thing from birth, it is to SURRENDER and open to the way that it is happening to you, for you, THROUGH you. 

It is a beautiful experience no matter what, because you become initiated in ways you never could expect, and find strength that you never knew you had. 

I understand and take responsibility for my birth and I’m writing this to every woman out there, to encourage you and advocate for you to be open minded and trust the process. To let go of control and receive your birth the way it’s happening through you.